You’re on cloud nine because you nailed a job interview. At least, you think you did. But then, you start having doubts and brood over how the interview might have actually gone; maybe you didn’t leave a good impression. Before long, you’re convinced that you’re not going to get the job. Then, a week or so later, you get a call saying you’ve been hired.
Here’s another scenario.
You catch the flu bug and your doctor recommends routine blood tests as a precaution. Suddenly, you start worrying and fear the worst. What if the tests reveal something serious? But when the results come in, they’re normal.
These are just a couple of examples of how our minds can send us into a tailspin, turning harmless or non-existent situations into stressful ordeals. What should’ve been a positive experience soon spirals into needless anxiety.
Seneca, a Stoic philosopher of ancient Rome, had a profound insight into our tendency to overthink or overanalyse when he observed, “We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.”
What Seneca is saying is that much of our suffering comes not from external circumstances but from our irrational thoughts, worries and fears about what could be or what might happen. We anticipate negative outcomes even before the situation we dread comes to pass. Yet, if our experiences are anything to go by, most of the time, those scary events never materialise.
Here are five ways that can help us to let go, avoid imagining worst-case scenarios, and be more balanced in our thought processes.
Replace negative thoughts with positive ones
The first step to challenging a negative thought, as spiritual teachers have told us for ages, is to instantly replace it with a positive one as soon as it takes root in our minds. This requires presence of mind and enormous patience, but with practice, we can learn to recognise irrational or exaggerated thoughts and substitute those for more positive ones. Asking ourselves questions like “Is this thought realistic?” or “Why am I assuming the worst?” can help prevent our imagination from going on a wild ride.
Focus on what can be controlled
Many things in life are outside our control. Some events will happen in spite of our best efforts to change their course in ways that suit us or make us happy. What we can do instead is focus on what’s within our control and let go of what isn’t, which can help reduce mental and emotional stress. Fortunately, more often than not, our worries about things beyond our control are unfounded.
Have realistic expectations
It’s important to have dreams, but it’s even more crucial to have realistic dreams. Having unrealistic expectations can lead to frustration and disappointment. For instance, if we want to write a book, we can’t possibly finish it in a day or a week. But we can get there if we write a page or a chapter every day or as often as we can, and gradually put the book together. By starting small, we’re moving towards something big. When we keep our goals manageable, we reduce that imaginary suffering Seneca talks about.
Live in the here and now
Living neither in the past nor in the future, but right here and now, can help us think clearly and reduce the mental clutter that often leads to imagined worries and anxieties. Mindfulness exercises—like deep breathing, meditation or simply walking—like allows us to observe our thoughts and rein in the wayward ones without letting them control us. By staying grounded in the present moment, we can achieve a greater sense of calm and clarity.
Take a break from anxiety-inducing content
Take a break from anxiety-inducing news, social media and toxic conversations. We have to be mindful of what we read and hear, and how it affects our mood. Constant exposure to negative or depressing news and views can ramp up our stress levels and send us spiralling into cycles of worry. The key is to surround ourselves with positive people and uplifting vibes.
We can't always control our thoughts and emotions, but we can choose how we respond to them. Seneca urges us to question the suffering we create in our imagination and reminds us to embrace what is real and to live in the moment. By focusing on the present and what’s realistic, we can find peace amid life’s uncertainties.
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